5 Things Not To Say To Mom of a Kid With Allergies

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Cillian was born with an intolerance to dairy. It made him react with colic-like symptoms anytime he ingested it and, because I  breastfed, I chose to completely removed dairy from my diet for both our sakes! Here are some things that were actually spoken out loud to me by real, adult people.

Oh, it’s just a little. It shouldn’t hurt him.

Thank you. Thank you for being the one to determine to what extent my child’s allergy goes. Thank you for being so willing to risk my child’s health and comfort for the sake of, what? My praise on your cooking? Next time someone comes to you with a peanut allergy, be sure to offer them just one peanut under the assurance that one is so small and couldn’t possibly have an affect. Please, just respect me as a person and a parent and know that no means no.

This doesn’t contain any dairy, only butter.

And now I’m supposed to trust ANYTHING you say about the food you are serving me? Are you a moron? Do you have any idea where butter comes from or did you skip middle school all together? Let’s review… no. Let’s not because ain’t nobody got time for that. I’ll just take my allergy and go, because you’re probably the same person who drops food on the floor and believes that germs wait a full five seconds before touching it.

Eggs are dairy.

Really? I’ve never actually seen a dairy chicken. Please explain to me what kind of mammary glands these eggs come from. Actually, explain to me what kind of non-mammal (ie: a bird or you know, a chicken) has mammary glands, those things that mammals get their name from and then we’ll revisit the fact that only dairy cows can produce diary products. Next you’ll be telling me that beans are a grain because they are in the “Rice” isle at Publix.

Why not just stop breastfeeding?

Because it’s important to me. Because I decided I would if I was able and, I am able. Because changing my diet is minuscule compared to the proven benefits of breast feeding. And before you follow with, “My kids were formula fed and are just fine,” know that I don’t care what choices you made for your children or what they survived. They probably survived lead-painted cribs too but that doesn’t make them the best choice. I’m not asking YOU to breastfeed my child or even your own child. You do you, boo. But don’t question where I choose to find value just because that choice seems difficult to you.

I could never do that

You could if you were me. If you had my stubbornness and my determination. If you had my blinding obsessiveness with getting something done. If you had my desire to prove everyone like you wrong, you could do it.

Whether we’ve dealt with allergies ourselves or not, we all come in contact with people who have – maybe as servers, or hosts, or parents, or as classmates. Please, just respect other’s choices when they choose to remove something from their diet even if it seems ridiculous to you or you think they are just following a fad. Thankfully my son’s allergy was minor. It only led to upset stomach and gas, but some truly have serious allergies and even the slightest exposure can lead to hives, vomiting, or even anaphylaxis. Don’t make decisions for others that don’t concern you.

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